Every parent and child are unique.... which makes each and every loss unique. As we share our individual ways of working through our personal grief, we will be able to piece together parts to continue helping ourselves and each other with one of the most difficult things life will ever throw our way.....the death of our child/children.
If we refuse to remember our beloved children because the memories hurt, then we would miss some of the wonderful moments we shared with them over the years...this website is a beautiful tribute to your handsome Victor. Thank you for including him in my yearly Celebration of Life ceremony. they blessed our lives.
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Pain and Grieving
When you hear me laugh one moment in time, Do you think...Oh great! she seems just fine.
The smiles you see, don’t reach my eyes... Nor do you hear my silent anguished cries.
My heart is breaking, can’t you see... Without my sweet child here with me.
My heart and soul have taken a big hit... Yet some loved ones tell me, "get over it."
Each new day is an emotional strain I pray none of them experience this pain.
Only another parent that is grieving too Can understand what I am going thru.
My precious child has died, that is true, Why must I hide this pain from you?
Passing Time / Mom
I was thinking today that no mater what I do the time continue to pass, each day gone, is a day closer to you... I have never been much of a writer or anything like that, I envy the people that knows how to let the words flow from their minds to the paper to create beautiful works that enlight the mind and the soul, all I know is that I never knew how much I loved you... by this I mean that when you were alive I knew and felt this incredible love for you... now that you are gone to a better place my love for you has increased so much... there isn't a day that I don't think of you or wish you were here enjoying this beautiful earth, I do appreciate all the things we did together... I feel so guilty for not being there for you when you weree growing up.... that I had to work to support our family.... I know you don't blame me for that but it is me who feel this way... I am sure I could have been a better Mother, but is nothing I can do to change that... all I know that you made me who I became today... you were my teacher and my best friend... even in your dead you continiue to show me how to apreciate life and the things I have... for that my precious son and first born I thank you... my hope is that you are at peace and enjoying your new life... I am never far from you and if Angels can see what is going on in this earth ... you know how I feel.... I love you my adored son and your memory and life will be carried with me where ever I go.... millions of kisses are send your way... Mom Close
Everything I own / Mom
Everything I Own” By Bread You sheltered me from harm. Kept me warm, kept me warm You gave my life to me Set me free, set me free The finest years I ever knew Were all the years I had with you
I would give anything I own, Give up me life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own, Just to have you back again.
You taught me how to love, What it’s of, what it’s of. You never said too much, But still you showed the way, And I knew from watching you. Nobody else could ever know The part of me that can’t let go.
I would give anything I own, Give up me life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own Just to have you back again.
Is there someone you know, You’re loving them so, But taking them all for granted. You may lose them one day, Someone takes them away, And they don’t hear the words you long to say
I would give anything I own, Give up me life, my heart, my home. I would give everything I own Just to have you back again.
My dear and beloved son, 21 months and still counting.... there isn't a day that I don't think about you.... I miss you every day , some days I miss you more than others and some days I think you are away and that you will come home any day now.... Life as you knew it is the same.... my life apperars to be the same but is not... the hole in my heart is big not only for you but for your brother, for me too Gaby said that I spend a lot of time wishing for what others hve and not appreciating what I have.... he is right.... but my wishes are for happy moments within my own family.... peace at home....love at home.... I feel that I have nothing of that.... loneliness is bad company but I can't see my self in any other place.... I have learned to love my solitud... This weekend I am going to visit your baby, Cristal has agreed to allowed me to have a party for him finaly I am going to show him off.... I want everyone that you knew to come and visit him.... he is my driving force at this moment and I love him so very much.... also he is comming to the premier of Open Season... he is going to have such good time.... in him I see a lot of you... he is bright and smart... loves to laugh and say no to his mom... you would have loved him with all your might.... but I know that you are watching him... Jerry and I aren't seeing things aye to eye... he is doing very bad thigns and he can't admited them... he is in total denial... he lies to me like no other.... I don't want to share those things with you because you probably are upset about his behavior.... I am going to set an appoinmnet with a conselor for both of us... we are hurting deeply and he needs to vent and explaing his feelings in a positive manner... I too need to learn how to be a mom to him.... and try to change my out look in life.... I miss you my son so much that is so hard to find the light at the end of the tunnel.... please continue to look after your brother and me... and your baby and all the family.... your mom that forever will love you untill the day I die....
Dios bendiga a Victor y a toda tu famila. / Gloria Hernani (Tía)
Querida Prima: Es un gusto conocerte por fin, sin embargo me doy con la ingrata noticia que tu hermoso hijo ha fallecido. Recuerda que Dios sabe por qué hace las cosas, él está con la mejor compañía que se pueda tener: Cristo. Espero algún día conocerte personalmente, ya que te conozco sólo por las fotos y las de tu hijo Victor. Tal vez muy pronto nos veremos. Dios bendiga a Victor y a toda tu famila. Tu prima de Perú. Gloria Maldonado Hernani Close
thank you,Teressa / Xenia Wilkins (girlfriend and soulmate )
hello,my lovely...i want to tell you Thank You for the Victor,You are Amazing person,thats where Victor got his Beautiful Soul and Kind Heart, he was so Unique...he made me believe in tru love and made me believe,that all my dreams about the perfect guy are exist...He was perfect...its hard to say "was",couse i know,that his spirit around us,and he is spending All the time next to You...He will stay in my heart forever dosnt metter what...im glad to work with you,be around you to help you out,becouse ,like You helping me out,your love in Your heart is endless,i Admire You, i apriciate You vbeing in my life,im blessed with people in my life...i love you ... Close
20 Months / Mom
My adored and beloved son, it has been 20 months since you left this world… my heart still aches and wonders why? but some how I got a confirmation that you are okay, that you are alive and watching over all of us… 3 weeks ago we went to see Vinnie, Jerry and I we had the best time, Vinnie laugh so much with Jerry, they played and spend a lot time together…. I was sick but seeing them together brought such a bitter sweet memories, at one point Jerry pick him up and he hugged his uncle and put his head on his chest… it was like seeing you hugging your brother… he looks like you and plays hard like you… he has the most beautiful smile and is full of energy… when we left he wanted to come with us… he didn’t want Jerry to leave him, it is such a strong bond between them, like you had with your brother… I am trying to visit him today; I really need a hug from him and you… Friday, Jerry, Grandma and I went to Vegas… you have kept your promise … the condo you bought me is beautiful… all I keep thinking is that you are always watching over me and looking out for all of us… Erika came to visit me the other day we had a very nice talk and told her how much I love her… she is very cute and start showing a little bit… she is having a baby boy… Mariela is getting married in the Temple, November 18th we are trying to do your papers and Aaron is doing your Temple work … I will be catering the weeding… There are so many things that I wish you were here for, but I know that we will see each other again… I love my baby more than human words can say it… I still worry about Jerry and wish he get his act together… hope I live long enough to see that… Say hello to my Dad, tell him I love him and miss him too… give Anita a huge hug from me … it is so hard to believe that both of you are together… and both of you left us those beautiful children… for as long as I live in this earth, you are in my heart and my grief will cease the day that we meet again… sending you millions of kisses and hugs… Mom Close
19 Months / Mom
My beloved son, it has been 19 months since I heard your voice for the last time, I couldn't have predicted that the night we spoke would have the last one, I miss your physical precense more each day but I know beyond words that you are alive and watching over me and your brother and the rest of the family... I just talked to a lady a few minutes a go about you, I am going to cater a brunch for her this Sunday, I met her at Chris Dobbs mom's house two weeks ago at a party I cater for her... it was beautiful and everone was happy , I always think of your words on Thankgiving..."Mom I will pay you back and I will take care of you always" you have keep that promise and it hasn't been a month that you haven't taking care of me... every time I cook I always do it in your name, you were so particular and a perfectionist... and thought of everyone's needs... I still do that for you... you are my driving force my inspiration and my guide... I want you to be proud of me, I can't let you down... i love you my child... 2 weeks a go Vinnie came to visit me, we went to the beach and had a good time... seeing him laugh was such a treat for my heart he mend it in a few minutes... I will try to visit with him in two weeks... I miss him and love him very much... every time I hug him and kiss him I think of you, he smells like you... Mariela is getting married in November, she asked me if you are happy about it and we both said yes at the same time... I am having a rough time with Erika, and at the moment we are not comunicating... like you used to tell me "Be patience Mom she will change with Mariela" I am hoping with all my heart for Erika... she always has been a good girl, but when we talk I don't even recognized her thinking... she has drifted away from the church but more so from the Spirit of God, she is expecting a baby. I miss her but she has made a choice and I have to respect her choices... I am trying to apply your advise ... If I continue to do the same things I will get the same result... I don't want to interfier in her life is she falls she will get up and walk ... I have said to her that I am always here the only thing she has to do is come...Grandma is in Argentina visiting my cousin Jose he has been diagnoted with liver cancer... he may be with you shortly... please take care of him, grandpa had an operation yesterday and is not doing so great... My adored son you know that for as long I have a breath in me you always be in my mind, heart and everything I do.... I love you so much that words can't expresed... Close
What a warm smile / Margaret Hale (Friend of his mother )
Seeing this beautiful website that your mom put together is so amazing. I never had the opportunity to know you in life but it is amazing that you have such a loving mom to share you. We are so happy about your son. What an amazing gift to have after such a shocking loss. How life shocks and amazes us. May your spirit always live on in the joy and memories that your family and friends hold so dear. XO Margaret Close
Happy Father's day / Mom
My beloved and adored son, today we celebrate father's day and I thought of you... I went to the beach and walked around the shore and my mind was filled with your memories... memories of our talks about you being a dad, and how wonderful dad you were going to be... I tried to convice Cristal to come and visit me with your son to no avail... that hurt me so much... but like I said before I will do what ever is in my power to teach your son about you... I know in time he will learn to love me like you loved me... I miss you my child more each day and I love you so very much, Happy Father's Day! I know that from heaven you are looking out for your little boy...and for all of us here... I can't wait unti we get together again... millions of kisses for you my baby....love you Mom Close
18 months since you left this world... 18 months of agonizing pain and enless nights of crying and being awake thinking about you, 18 months that my life was changed forever, most people think that time will cure all heartaches but I know this one have no cure... for my heart is in agony all the time... I have cried your absence that my eyes are dried of tears but the wailing in my heart is and forever will be... I used to be afraid that you will be forgotten... but I am no more... for one you will never be forgotten by me... and as long I live in this world i will tell of you to Vinnie, for he is your own flesh and blood... I can't stop being amazed at your generosity, and how things worked out... you left me some of you to continue to love and protect... Oh my precious boy I will trade places with you in a slipt second, some days I can imagen you taking care of your baby... how much you would have loved him....and he is so cute... and funny... it will take some time for him to get to know me... but rest assure that he will know about you as he grows older... Thank you my dear son for that wonderful dream, for talking to me and letting me know that you are okay... that God exists and that you still look out for all of us... I miss you my baby... but as time passes I know you are closer to me all the time... I love you with all my heart my precious boy.. your mother who never for a minute stops thinking about you... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Close
You have a baby boy! / Mom
My adored child, I am so happy that I want to jump... you are a father, you didn't know that you had a baby, he was born 2 months before you died, his name is Vincent... and he is the cutes thing... today I got the DNA results and he is your baby 99.99% I knew you wouldn't leave alone you had to work your miracle... I love my son soo very much, and I will love your baby as much as I loved you... you are alive in him and that makes me so happy... thank you my dear child from wereever you are... I LOVEYOU SOOOO MUCH! your mom who never stops thinking about you....a million kissess for you my Angel! Close
17 Months / Mom
My sweet and adored child, 17 months you left us, me and my whole world as I knew became no more, 17 months that you have been my companion in every thing I do, your presence still very much missed by all who new you but for me its a need... I can't change the past nor those months without you but rest asure that you have not been out of my mind and in my heart for one single day, the memories of you are coming more freely and easy, in my mind I can see you as a child, and I can recall vividly yous face, and hands ... Victitor I know you are in a place where is no more pain and suffering, for that I am happy... all my life I wanted to see you happy ... it is my prayer that you are now... as for me I do what I learned to best, pretend and count that days.... for me it may be an eternity but I know that when my time comes you will be there for me, oh how joyous that day will be... to hug you and feel your company again... I love you my sweet baby more than words can say it... for as long as I breath in this world your memory and love will be my strenght... every one in the family is doing fine... say Happy Mothers day to Anita for me... I miss her too.. Your Mom who adores you and love you for time and eternity. Teresita Close
Happy birthday / Jerry Fullmer (lil brother )Read >>
Happy birthday / Jerry Fullmer (lil brother )
hey bro happy birthday. today u would be 29 years old. we will not be sad today, we will celebrate ur birthday as if u were here! i know u are getting the biggest most beautiful party in heven right now! bro i miss u and love u so much! i wish it didnt have to be this way! i always ask y! and i never get the answer! well bro i love u! happy birthday! Close
Happy Birthday! / Mom
My adored Son, May the Angels above celebrate your life in heaven, as for me here its a sad day flooded with memories good and sad, I have imprinted in my mind your little hads holding mine, as we went to many places together, the late nights I waited for you to come home and when you finaly did, you said to me "Mom I'm home", your phone calls just to check on me or your brother and sisters, Your plans for the future... but most of all I remember your beautiful smile and your kindness ... My ever question "Why" will not stop my pain , but something I know is that we will see eachother again, until then my beautiful son, I will be loving you here and your precense will never leave me for your are in me and with me every minute of my life....Happy birthday! Mom Close
I miss you,,, / Mom
My dearest child, I have been so sad and down lately, your presence is much need it in my life... I whish I was gifted enough to write poetry to you but I am not... I only speak from my heart who loves you beyond human words... I will give anything to have one of those bear hugs and to feel your warm around me... I miss my boy... I wonder if you miss me too and your brother and the rest of us... we still can't talk about you freely.... will we ever do it... I don't know... I look around me and try to find a gaze, a smile or something about you in every young man I see... so far I have not found anyone like you... you were the most special son and your smile was as bright as a summer sunrise... the twinkle in your eyes made even the most grouchy person smile... your funny ways and your great leadership ability were so unique... those are the few things I miss about you... I want you to know that for as long as live I will love you every second of my life... may God keep you busy and sourrounded you with his love... your mother and friend... Teresita Close
You are always on my mind / Mom
Dear son, Your birthday is fast approaching, almos 29 yaers ago your birth was a celebration and a gift from God to my life, you left me 16 months and 13 days ago, during this time my heart has know a pain like no other, how un natural for a parent is to loose your child... with your death our future as a family ended... do you remember all those plans that we had made? I do too... it pierce my heart to be here and not you, I would have trade places with you any time... I was sick you were healthy, your life was just begening... I have to believe that God had other plans for both of us, you were call to his side and I was left here to contineu to learn what ever it is that I am lacking of... I don't understand why this had to happen... there isn't a day or a minute that I don't think of you... some days I miss you more than others, other times I think you are working and you will call me at anytime... my heart aches and tears run down my face with out me knowing there coming... I want to scream to the top of my lungs to make the pain go away..how long I must endure this agony and pain.... the other day I was thinking that you finaly are with your dad, hopefuly he is nice to you... he was a good man... have you meet the nona yet? and nono? and are you with Anita... I miss her too... as you can see from my writings ... I am sad , the only thing that comforts me is that yor ashes are with me in the house... I like to come to the house to keep you company... but I would have rather have you alive and well... some day hopefuly soon we will be with each other again... Until then know with out a shodow of daoubt that I will be loving you until my last breath of air... I love my beautiful and adored son... imma, teresita, senora, mother, mom Close
16 Months / Mom
My dearest Son, 16 Months, my dearest child, it seems like yesterday I heard your voice... sometimes I feel like my heart its going to break... I miss you so very much, the saying "you don't know what you have until you loose it " its so very true... in you I had a friend, a son who could understand my ways, a mediator between the other kids, your wisdom and patience gave the insight I need it at times, since you left this world, life hasn't been the same, I can't seem to comunicate with your brother , I know he tries, but its me that can't understand him... he acused me to say hurtful things... I rarely hear from the girls, everybody has their life to live... I wonder if you are happy there... I want to be with you and stop the pain, the loneliness and the bitterness that it is in my heart... I don't know how to move forward... forgive me son if I don't say happy things but I miss you with all my heart... I want to see you in my dreams...if you see me from above please help me understand your death... help me with Jerry, I love him so much that it hurts when he is not here and rather be with his friends... I need to find a way to change my attitude and be at peace... only time and your love from above can do it... I love you my dear child remember that...I am sending you so many kisses and hugs... Mom Close
A Beautiful Son / Charlene Paradise (Friend to Victor's Mom )Read >>
A Beautiful Son / Charlene Paradise (Friend to Victor's Mom ) Teresa- I love what you have done here for your precious Victor. May all the wonderful memories you have warm your heart and souls always. Our children, though gone from this earth, will live on forever in our hearts. There is no greater love than that of a mother and child. I wish you peace and comfort knowing that Victor is always by your side. God Bless Charlene Mom to angel Patrick McTagueClose
Seeing alive / Mom
My dearest son, This weekend I had the opportunity to spend time with Vincent, he is the cutes baby, he has the same demeanor and walk like you, he is not very fond of me yet, but had a great time with grandma and Erika... his grandma Margie, is very sweet and kind, the other day she did something that touch my heart , she called me to say goodnight and to hear Vinie's voice...she is a great person, Cristal is nice too... we had a good time and I feel very comfortable getting to know them and happy for them to allow me to be part of Vinie's life... seeing him is seeing you... I am bless for this miracle and for you my beautiful child, you will never be forgotten as long as I am in this earth... remember that you are in mi mind, heart and you are alive in me... I love you and miss you more each day.....your Mom that adores you ...Teresa Close
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